Three Days at the Bull Hotel

The Bull Hotel

Bridport

7-10 July 2023

We booked to stay at the Bull for the weekend to celebrate Jaki’s Birthday without actually knowing we had booked breakfast as well as the room.

If I’m honest, I would have preferred to go out and find a breakfast each day rather than troop down to the dining room at the same time each morning, sit at the same table, stare at the same people and eat from the same menu.

It’s a bit Billy Butlin.

Years ago when I was small, my Nan and Grandad (Mary and Bill) who I loved to bits, took me and my Brother Tony on holiday to Butlin’s Pwillheli. I think it might have been around the time my Mum was giving birth to my brother Andy, but I cant be sure.

I do remember catching several steam trains to get there and on one connection we saw our first Diesel train, which we found very exciting at the time.

We stayed in a Challet and had three meals a day provided in the canteen where they actually shouted.

“Umpah, Umpah stick it up your Jumper” over the loud speaker just before they served the soup, which I remember as being a browny-green colour.

We had a fantastic holiday, loved every minute of it but it was the start of my aversion to seaside holidays in the UK, which always consisted of long journeys in old cars that broke down. Sharing beds with other family members, My Mum and Dad arguing, usually about the cost of the vacation. Long wet days walking round seaside resorts trying to find some thing to do and the inevitable journey home, mid week because we all decided to cut the holiday short.

I try to avoid anything that remotely reminds me of those times, which are bitter sweet.

We went to Gran Canaria once, Georgia, Jaki and I and stayed in a 5 start all inclusive resort.

We hated it.

So, hotels with B & B or evening meals are usually a ‘No No’ for us.

But on this trip I didnt realise we were booking food. It was our own fault, we left it a bit late to book accomodation and by the time we did, most of the good places were gone.

It only took a short while.

Jakis chose Bridport on the evening, the next morning I looked at available accommodation and there were some great places for rent, particularly on Air B & B but by the time we sat down to book, later that evening, most of the places had gone.

The only reasonable venue left was the Bull Hotel, (£579.15) so we took it for three nights starting on the Friday, which meant we had our first breakfast booked for Saturday morning.

Day one:

The dining room had been converted to accommodate a multiplicity of old tables crammed into every suitable space to accommodate guests who were given a choice of time slots between 0800-1000 hrs but as is often the case, we all seemed to converge on the dining room at the same time.

Our little table, was particularly bijou and we struggled to get all the necessary items on the surface at once.

The menu looked reasonably diverse yet still offered all the basics. It was in two parts (three if you include the Kids Menu) with a help yourself section that the server described as being ‘Full of Yummy things’ and the main even which included the Full English.

The Yummy things were set out on a long table but they were exposed to the elements so anyone could sneeze on them or dribble into the Yoghurt without any restrictions, which isn’t very inviting. Im sure when they were first laid out it looked appealing but by the time several families with young children had picked over the Croissants and upended the Danish Pastries, the aesthetics were lost and the whole thing looked like the proverbial Bun Fight.

Jaki did try a slice of fresh pine apple but we made sure it came from the bottom of the pile, thus adding to the abstract nature of the display.

Obviously on the first morning I was in for the Full English but I had to avoid the toast (White or Granary) and the Hash Browns (though I mistook mine for stewed Apple) but there was still plenty to chose from.

When it arrived I was a bit disappointed by the presentation.

The Bacon, the best and most desirable element of any breakfast, wasn’t a few rashers of Back Bacon but a few dried up rashers of streaky. Now I’m not unhappy with streaky Bacon. Im not unhappy with Crispy Bacon, but I do object to dried out Bacon that has been cooked and kept hot for a long time.

The Sausage, which is number two on my favourite breakfast item list, was anaemic without a scorch mark or a burn on it anywhere.

Ideally my sausage would have been cooked on a griddle and be striped with some good deep burns. This had the skin colour of a Scotsman in Benidorm. It just didn’t look right.

The taste was Ok and had it been cooked better it would have been a great sausage, but it wasn’t.

Then things start to go down hill.

The Eggs (I chose fried) on this occasion were over done so the yolk was hard.

The Black Pudding on the other hand hadn’t been cooked at all, which is a shame because black pudding fried so the edges go crispy, is a delight. This had the consistency of a pudding or a cake, it was still crumbly.

The single mushroom head was pleasant enough though it was black, as if it had been cooked in Ink.

A half Tomato and a small pot of Baked beans completed the agenda.

The Hash Browns were a bit of a mystery. I honestly mistook them for stewed Apple which I assumed was a clever accompaniment for the black pudding.

Brown sauce was served in a small pot on request.

Jaki on the other hand chose Smoked salmon and Scrambled Eggs and hers was delicious. The smoked Salmon in particular was really good and it was a big portion too.

She asked for Coffee whilst I had a pot of Tea but by now we had almost no space left on the table and it became a chess game, picking up one item and moving it in order to access another which meant inevitably some thing would end up on the floor.

I find this clutter a bit stressful. If your gonna sit at a table and enjoy your food you dont want a pile of debris all around you.

Day Two:

Determined not to make the same mistake twice, I had decided to order the smoked Salmon rather than the Full English and to insist on a bigger table.

I failed on both counts.

We were shown to the same table we sat at yesterday and I changed my mind at the last second and ordered what I thought was Ham and Eggs but turned out to be two thin slivers of ham, sat on half a Muffin, drenched in a horrible yellow sauce. (Hollandaise).

‘Black Cab’ Ham and slow cooked Poached eggs with an English Muffin and Hollandaise sauce wasnt quite what I expected.

The Eggs at least were familiar, they were over cooked and hard but the tiny little slivers of ham were overwhelmed by the thick rich taste of the sauce which soaked the Muffins and made them soggy.

This was horrible and probably one of the worst breakfasts I’ve had for a while.

Jaki chose Smashed avocado’s, heritage Tomatoes, Chilli (though where this was hiding I dont know) and slow cooked Lycroft Farm eggs which were also done like bullets. Do Lycroft Farms know what is being done to their produce?

To add insult to Injury they served us up our Tea in a Pot that had a huge chip out of it. My curiosity was piqued an I noticed that a lot of the crockery, jugs and pots all had lumps out of them like shrapnel wounds.

Day Three:

We both decided on the Full English. I suspect it was a last Hurrah, before we headed home.

I had hoped it would be an improvement on day one but if anything, it was slightly worse though we did sit at a different table. It was still the same dimensions.

We weren’t asked what type of eggs we wanted, a choice I was given on the first day and we weren’t asked what toast we wanted, though I wasn’t eating toast anyway, it was none the less a slip in standards.

Tea was brought in yet another chipped Tea pot and the jug of milk was salvaged from the vacant table next to us.

There was then an extremely long wait for the food to arrive which was exacerbated when the people next to us got served before us even though they came in later.

When our food arrived we were told the baked beans would be with us later as some one ( the Chef?) forgot them.

There was no improvement in the food. The Bacon was worse if anything, drier and so crisp by now it had no taste. The Sausage was still as pasty as the day the skin was filled.

There were two disks of Hash Brown potatoes but as a high carb item I left them alone.

Wilted Flower

Strangely the mushroom tasted very bitter and it was a bit unpleasant. The black pudding was still undercooked so I left that and the half tomato added nothing to the overall meal so I left that also.

The Only soft Egg and they broke it!

It seems that after three days, six different meals and 5 different choices the best meal was the Smoked Salmon and Scrambled eggs.

Whilst we were out and about we saw several cooked breakfast that knocked this selection into a Cocked Hat. Which is a shame cause Fullers Brewery should be able to deliver better than this!