The Perfect Fry Up.

I started following a Facebook page called : “The Full English Breakfast Club” which shared pictures of Full English Breakfast Members had eaten, around the world. (Interestingly some good looking Breakfasts were being served in Phuket, I guess there are a lot of ex Pats out there). I thought It would be interesting seeing what is on offer and what people think about various offerings.

I also quite selfishly hoped one or two might start following my blog, but as it turns out, They didn’t and I’m relieved.

I should have known that anything that says “English” to the exclusion of all others, would attract a certain type of follower. It was almost like the site was asking Reform (ex Brexit party, ex UKIP) members to send in pictures of their food when they were on anti Woke marches up and down the country.

Then, predictably, they started arguing and some of it got quite heated. You just cant imagine how much anger can be generated by the inclusion or exclusion of Chips with a full English Breakfast!

So, I’ve left that particular site.

I dont really need the extra grief.

I’m already up to my eyes in grief from REFORM Party supporters who deny Farage had anything to do with Brexit. That Brexit has anything to do with the state of the Country and that its all the fault of them “Jonny Foreigners’ who keep coming here in boat loads, destroying our Fishing Industry by dying in the English Channel.

However, one of the good things I found on this web site was a picture of what some one suggests is the ultimate Full English and I thought.

Screenshot

“All the time Ive been writing this Blog, I’ve never actually set out what my perfect breakfast would be.

So, this is an attempt to do that.

There will be , I’m sure, some debate about what constitutes a perfect Full English ( or in some cases, Scottish / Welsh/Irish) and I expect to get some disagreement but this will be my ideal breakfast and I accept it may not be yours.

I would welcome some feed back from our Scottish friends (Ian) and our Welsh Chums (Ireland too) on what the difference is between a Full English” and a “Full Scottish”.

There might even be some views from the Chums in Cornwall though I’m not sure they have moved on to cooking their food yet?

(I await the response Alan).

So lets start with the basics.

The Venue.

When i was young we some times went to work with my Dad, some thing he didnt really enjoy but had to endure for various reasons.
He worked in Habgoods Scrap yard in St Phillips, an area of Bristol that is now all posh apartments and trendy Cafe’s but back then it was a rough tough industrial area of Bristol that still had the stains of the Blitz on every street corner.

The best bit of going to work with my Dad was going for breakfast in a greasy spoon in Midland road or Old Market. The rest of the time we were sat in the lorry whilst Fred Milkins (Yes that was his name) went in the pub for several hours before continuing to drive his HGV loaded with scrap and two small children.
Fred had a Brother or cousin, called Gordon Milkin’s who was a bit of a ladies man, lived in Knowle west.

Some times we had the luxury of going to ‘Fatty Bland’s’ shop or next door where the local greengrocer (whose name now escapes me) had a small yard at the back where he kept the Mule that pulled his cart. This was like being in the country, he had chickens and dogs running free, Geese and Ferrets as well as a Donkey.

These Cafes always had steamed up windows, plastic chequered table cloths and a fruit machine that flashed brightly and made a terrible noise.

They were always full of working men ( very few women though some times the odd ‘Working Girls’ would be in there).

These rough guys always treated me and my brother Tony like little Princes.

So when I look for my ideal venue it must have condensation streaming down the windows (that creates a damp smell that is nostalgic) and plastic table cloths in Gingham Print.

There must always be bottles of Sauce on the table. ‘Heinz Ketchup’ and ‘Daddies’ or ‘HP’ Brown Sauce. Salt and White Pepper ( none of that cracked Black Pepper).

The sugar will always be in one of them glass pourers with a stainless steel spout that clogs up each time you want to use it.

Never sugar cubes or Sweeteners, even though I use them at home.

Bread and Butter should alway be served with a full English. It should be thick cut white bread, spread with a film of Margarine or maybe cheap Butter and served on a separate plate, never on the same plate as the hot food.

The Food.

Bacon. The whole world of Breakfast revolves around Bacon.

When I cook Breakfast at home I buy unsmoked back Bacon from Buxtons Butchers in Winterbourne, where its top quality. When you cook it you dont get that ‘off White scum’ in the pan that you usually get from cheap Bacon.

However, I doubt many Cafe’s invest in that quality of Bacon, it’s often commercial grade, but as long as its cooked right, it usually tastes OK.

My Wife loves her Bacon Crispy but if you’re gonna eat it like the Yanks do, then you may as well buy a packet of Smokey Bacon Crisps.

Mine has to be cooked, with a few scorch marks on it, but not crisp. Some venues offer crisp Bacon because it has been reheated or kept warm for long periods. On the other hand I dont want Bacon that is pink an Insipid, like they serve at the all you can eat breakfast Buffets.

Sausages are also an essential but the quality of sausages varies greatly and I know a lot of places buy commercial packs of sausages that are full of breadcrumbs and filler.
That said, I’m not always enamoured with Butchers Sausages which tend to be a bit too meaty (hate it when they taste of Liver). There are though some good sausages around that wont break the bank and they dont have to be freshly carved off a pigs udder to make them taste good.

I HATE undercooked Sausages. Any kitchen that sends out a Pink floppy sausage should take their Chef to the Court of Gordon Ramsey straight away.

Eggs.

Always Fried.

Never poached or scrambled. They should have a runny Yolk and a firm white. When I was in the brigade several members always asked for their Egg’s with a Skirt. That burnt bit around the edges. There should alway be two eggs, They should never be broken ( Look at the eggs in the top picture, one yolk is clearly broken).

Now we start to come on to the variables.

Fried Bread-V -Toast.

i always loved Fried bread, when I went to stay with Nora and Arthur in Chew Stoke she cooked a fried breakfast for Arthur every morning and it always had a huge slab of Fried bread.

But over the years we were taught that fried food and Fat was bad for us. So, Fried Bread was a No-No. However, this thinking seems to be changing and currently fried food isn’t seen as the Demon it once was.

If you fry things in Extra Virgin Olive Oil it is actually good for you. (I’ll not go into that here, but there is loads of evidence on line if you want to check up on me).

Is extra virgin olive oil good for you?

• it’s rich in mono-unsaturated fats.
• it may be protective against chronic disease.
• it has anti-inflammatory properties.
• may help manage body-fat composition.
• may improve heart health.
• may improve blood pressure.
• may help manage cholesterol.
• may reduce the risk of stroke.

The other issue is of course:

Butter-V- Margarine.

For years we were told not to eat butter and the food Industry tried its best to get us to eat low fat versions like Olivio which they said contained less fat but still had the same quality ingredients.

Well they dont.

Olivio has some thing like 10% Olive oil and the rest is shite.

The main Ingredient in this shite is Water, then the dreaded Palm Oil which is not only bad for you but devastating for the planet. It also has Rape seed Oil (another nasty) & Palm Kernel Oil.

Some studies suggest palm oil could be linked to inflammation, certain cancer risks, and type 2 diabetes, but research is inconclusive and often contradictory. Palm oil also contains properties that can have positive effects on LDL cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

So, what I’m saying is this: I have gone back to having Fried bread (at home) where i know its cooked in Extra Virgin Olive oil (be mindful that some extra virgin olive oil is laced with other ingredients so its not pure). Then Its better for me, and it tastes great. The difference in callories between toast with real (Irish) butter or Fried bread cooked in Olive Oil is minimal, but may help you decide.

If I am having Toast I dont want Granary, I dont want Sourdough (though that is a contradiction given my latest Fad is making home made Sourdough).

I want white unsliced bread. and in this situation, I’ll pass on the fried bread as I dont know its Provenance and go for Toast, served on a separate plate.

Tomato.

Now I can take or leave Tomatoes but I really dont like tinned Tomatoes with my Fried Breakfast. It’s too runny, makes everything soggy and adds very little to the meal. If there is a Tomato, i prefer fresh, cut in half but then Cooked. Not just warmed up.

It has to be soft and scorched or I dont want it.

Baked Beans

A must in my book. But Not served in some little Pot. No, No, no.

Mushrooms.

They can be great or awful. Some places use tinned Mushrooms that taste like sick. Others cook them so they become a black paste and have no flavour. If your gonna serve me Mushrooms, make ’em fresh. Cook em nicely (in Butter) and make sure they stay in a Mushroom shape not liquidised.

Hash Browns.

Hmm. I can take em or leave em. When crisp and dry they can be good but they are often cheap and badly cooked.

Bubble and Squeak.

I much prefer Bubble and Squeak and I would go anywhere and eat anything if its served with real Bubble and squeak. An absolute delight.

Now we come to the most contentious element of all.

Black Pudding.

I adoreBlack Pudding and in Spain they make an extraordinary Black Pudding that is often served on its own as a Tapas dish though it some times comes with Mixed Grills or meat dishes.

British ( though some of the best comes from the Scottish Highlands) and can be bought in the butchers in Chipping Sodbury) Black Pudding is delicious but most places cant cook it to save their lives.

I like mine fried so the end are crispy, then you get the full flavour. I have tried the White Pudding and I bought a roll some weeks ago but as yet it is still in the freezer.

Finally, No breakfast would be complete without a Cup of Tea.

Not Coffee, Not Beer, Tea.

I prefer it in a pot ( one where the spout doesn’t leak) with enough tea in it for a few cups and a generous supply of T bags. Im OK with loose leaf but I can live without it.

One of the best cups of tea I’ve had lately was in a little veggies Cafe where they served Clipper Organic Tea bags and it was delicious. Full of Flavour and nice and strong.

Finally, My preference would be to be taken out for Breakfast by some one who insists on picking up the Bill.

Perfect.

NB: I might have to add to or amend this as time goes on so this is a work in progress.